One day during a casual conversation with a friend, her coworker walked up to us and asked my friend how she and her daughter were these days. My first thoughts were, “...she's kind of rude!” [I mean she did interrupt without saying excuse me]. My next thought was filled with more compassion to which for the next few minutes, I listened to a woman share details on why her marriage just blew up!
Hearing the few details this coworker shared, made me appreciate my relationship and all that it has meant for our family. Meaning, everyone is settled into their role and we support one another in our vision and goals we not only have for ourselves, but for our family as well. For me, this is an extremely important piece of the puzzle for any relationship. If it’s not positioned correctly, the relationship has the potential to fall apart before it has a chance to develop into the art of a strong union. Sidebar: When I mention each person settled into their role, it’s defined by ‘that’ couple and how they agree the relationship will work.
When my husband and I began dating, we talked a LOT! I found that was the best way to learn about a person. Along with observation, behavior, and how he treated his mother, it wasn’t long before I began to really adore him. And thank God he had good credit! Truth be told, finances are really important in any relationship. [Bad] Finances have been known to put a strain on even the strongest relationship. Those of us in relationships know it’s hard enough to manage emotion, physical affection, communication, etc. when building a strong relationship. Adding bad finances to the equation, makes it that much more difficult to sustain and maintain what’s built.
Now approaching 18 years of marriage, I have enjoyed the ride with a great partner in life...how smart was I to agree to date a ‘good man’ during a time I preferred the ‘bad boy.’ There are many characteristics my husband has that I love. He’s an attentive husband, a great father, a wonderful son, a protective big brother, and a really cool Uncle. His calm demeanor is definitely strength for our family, and it balances out my roar - LOL! Once we became parents, we frequently shift our focus on the couple in our marriage, which is always fun! When my daughter becomes an adult and decides to get married [after she graduates from college, landed her first professional job, bought her first condo, and traveled abroad] my prayer is that she partners with a man that treats her well...much like the example of how I feel my husband treats us both.
I hear a lot of people say marriage is a commitment. While I believe that is true, I think the emphasis would be more on ‘keeping’ the commitment. I also believe it takes common values, effort, touch, affection, active listening, and humor (yes, laughter is a mandate). Married for so long, experience has shown me that marriage also involves fighting fairly during those times when you disagree. And it's a must to allow your partner in on 'what's wrong,' as well as sharing when all is right.
When I’m ever asked, “Why do you like being married?” it always reconnects me to my ‘why.’ I look at our relationship and see that I enjoy being married, I love the companionship, and I like sharing my life. It’s nice to come home having that someone excited to see you; and on those days that don’t go so well, it’s equally nice to have that someone be your soft place to fall. Not to mention those times where I may be the most difficult, I’m loved anyway. Practical reasons not to be overlooked are legal protection and health insurance...it's the truth!
For me, marriage works, and I like it. Why do you like being married?
Enjoy your day...
Enjoy your day...