4 Things I Felt When I Got Ghosted [My Friendship Divorce]

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What are you to think when a best friend ends your friendship abruptly...only to return and ponder what happened?

For those of us that are 'grown folk', we understand that only in our mature years will we reflect to seek understanding once those good friendships end.  It's known that you are a completely different person in your early twenties than when you cross into middle-age.  We hope, right?  After all, wisdom and growth comes with age???  So how surprised was I to see one of my best friends abruptly end our friendship.  And as far as I could tell, there were no incidents that took place to have it cut off that way.  Hmmm.

As a Mom of a little girl, I try to help my daughter cope with friendship conflict. While I know this is ultimately something she'll have to learn on her own, through her own experiences, I can try to show by example.  Welp!  Truth be told, it sounded really good, up until the moment I got ghosted.  

I'd never experienced, what I thought was a close friend, disappear without notice.  Not only did they disappear, but in this day and age of social media, they completely disconnected from me altogether.  Don't get me wrong, I've experienced distance or a period of time without contact, but I've always reconnected.  So, when I was ghosted by a close friend, I was really confused.  

When something like this happens, there were many emotions that I experienced.  I mean I didn't understand what happened, nor was I given an opportunity to close out [or apologize].  Should I reach out or just accept their decision?  You would think at my age I'd know that life isn't always fair and you don't always get closure.  Sigh!  The emotions I felt were:


Confusion

I was really confused, especially since we'd connected a couple of weeks earlier. In our conversation, there was nothing mentioned, nor did I pick up on anything that was wrong, etc.  I've replayed in my head a few of our conversations, and I'm at a loss.


Pissed/Anger

After moving through the confusion, I began to get angry, quite frankly pissed.  I felt that I was owed some type of explanation.  It sucks when things end that abruptly and you don't know why.  

Hurt

Cancer is my zodiac sign.  Anyone who knows a Cancerian, knows that we are very sensitive and emotional.  I believe this is why we are also empathetic and kind towards others around us.  So, when someone we care about and have experienced part of our lives together just disappears, it's hurtful.  For me devastating...


Acceptance

It's taken me a little while before I began to accept this person's decision to part ways with me.  Everyone is allowed to live their best life with or without people they feel are good for them.  It's a little disheartening to see that I added no value to their life, otherwise they'd explain, right?  I don't know...c'est la vie!

As an adult, part of our armor we put on protects us so we can function and move forward.  This person and I shared many moments in life that holds value (for me).  It hurts me to think that I've done something so offensive to get ghosted.  But, it's their right to feel what they feel.  Clearly, I was off the mark because we viewed our relationship very differently.  

Moving forward, I have no choice but to accept and continue to live life.  This experience has certainly caused me to check in on other relationships I hold dear to me, in an effort to prevent this from happening again.  Ghosting sucks!

Have you ever been ghosted?    


Thanks for reading!


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